Standard Podcast [52:46m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

This week  Heidi Klum naked, music killed the video star, the Coen Brothers, A Serious Man, Astro Boy, Lesbians and a whole lot more.

This week was a bit odd.  I start out by exploring why I produce the content I produce.  I give shout outs to Leo Laporte, Adam Curry, John C Dvorak, Craig Ferguson, The Budget Geek and Deesher.  And while you may not know all of these people, you can rest assured they have influenced me significantly.  Since I patterned my attitude based on Don Rickles – this is a significant improvement.

I do manage to talk about a few movies, A Serious Man and Astro Boy.  One of these films has a plot and one does not.  One of these films has a rocket powered boy, the other does not.  One has Nick Cage, the other, sadly, did not.

I do talk about how Jason Calacanis twittered about Heidi Klum very naked, when in fact, she was just partially naked – and barely that. They are great pictures, don’t get me wrong, but she ain’t butt naked by my standards.

Somehow I manage to talk about Viacom vs YouTube, a windows 7 phone with no flash or cut and paste, the Chief Exorcist of the Vatican, facing toilets for couples and some other crap.  I do have several stories about completely ignorant people (some of them Catholics/Christians – because God loves you even if your stupid) make sure the world is safe from lesbians.  I’m not sure when they became the big threat, but I think these people need a huge foot up the ass until they can taste my toes.

Oh well, that’s all for this week – if you want more – listen to the netcast.

This is episode #084 for Monday, March 22, 2010 and clocked in at 52 minutes, 46 seconds.

 

 Standard Podcast [34:30m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

This week Regis Jack talks about Alice In Wonderland, Tron Legacy, Defendor, Stellar Con and the Dog Whisperer Porn connection.

Went to StellarCon just over a week ago and saw some pretty interesting things, I took a few pictures (not many), but check them out.  Any, besides selling my self as a podcaster/whore (or should I say whore/podcaster) I did manage to do a podcast (unlike last week where I failed miserably and had to cut myself while sitting in a dark room with a shotgun).  Sometimes I feel like rockstar, unfortunately sometimes that’s Kurt Cobain.

At StellarCon, one of the smallest con’s I’ve ever seen that is incredibly packed lots of people and best selling authors, I talked with several people and figured I mention them in the podcast along with links to them.  They are selling themselves just like me, so it’s the least I can do to help a fellow whore.  First of all I did pickup issues 4 – 12 of The Devil’s Panties from artist/author Jennie Breeden.  Her site say’s “It’s not satanic porn, honest!” but I’ll let you decide.  I really like her work and she’s pretty cool.  Also, I mispronounce her name like 40 different times in the podcast – how unprofessional of me (hehehehe).

The next most impressive or at least equally impressive person at StellarCon that I met was Ryan M. Jones.  He creates things from pipecleaners.  He was working on dragon with about a 2 foot wingspan. He also had a great figure of Hellboy – very detailed.  Very good work.  I would have loved to buy one, but I don’t have a place for one.  I do plan on requesting a custom figure (he can do almost anything) and order one from him – just as soon as I think of something cool – WAIT!  I just did!  I need to write down! (but no here, I don’t what any of you stealing my cool idea).

I met a fellow book whore, CL Roberts who was giving away a free copy of this book. So if you were not the lucky winner (or unlucky – I don’t know I haven’t read it), you can go to his site and read the first few chapters for free.

I did some miscellaneous running around and gathered info for the follow sites: Comics & Toys, the USS Bonaventure, Charlotte Area Paranormal Society, Winston-Salem Paranormal Society and Beautiful Brains Books & Games.

Even after all that I managed to see Alice in Wonderland in Digital 3-D, and while it’s a wonderful movie with wonderful actors – I felt it wasn’t dark enough for a Tim Burton movie.  And no one had scissors for hands – how disappointing.  I also did not see the beauty of 3-D for this film.  While 3-d may have been perfect for Final Destination, I felt it did not do the movie justice. I would rather have not worn the glasses and saw the vibrant colors more.  There were some CGI issues that took me out of the film, but overall the people kept me in it.

What’s more important then Alice was the trailer for  Tron Legacy in 3-D!!!!! That is awesome and I am dying to see it – in IMAX 3-D!  I’m there!

Anyway, that’s all for this show, —- wait, I almost forgot.  Ginger Lynn was on the Dog Whisperer.  How sweet is that?

This is episode #083 for Monday, March 15, 2010 and clocked in at 34 minutes, 30 seconds.

The sign read, “Fantasy Massage,” and I drove by it every once in a while.   It hung over the side door of a run-down building. The front of the building used to be an adult bookstore many years ago, although I’m sure that had no bearing on its current business. For me, the phrase “fantasy massage” holds a special meaning, but what did it mean to  the current employees? What’s their limit on fantasy?  I had to find out. So one day, out of curiosity only, I stopped in.

My eyes took a few moments to adjust as I entered this respectable, dimly lit establishment. After which I found myself staring at a wall covered with what appeared to be the velvet equivalent of leopard skin, in a light shade of purple. A curtain of plastic multi-colored beads blocked a dark passage to my right and there were several pictures on the wall that accentuated the fact I was standing in a feng shui nightmare. But all of that quickly vanished from my mind as my attention turned towards the women in front of me.

Three, very attractive, scantily clad women, sat on a bench beside a desk. One of them smiled at me. I quickly checked to see if my fly was open – that seems to be the only reason a woman would look and smile at me; I was fully zipped.  I looked back up to see one of the women approaching.  I began to sweat.

“Hi, my name is Cupcake,” she said seductively.

Well, it may not have been that seductive, but when a scantily clad, very attractive woman talks to me, anything she says sounds seductive.

She continued, seductively, “Have you been here before baby?”

I was appalled at her implication.  Did I look like the type of person who frequents a place like this for some perverted fantasy?  Did I appear to be one of those desperate and pathetic losers who would have to come to a place like this?  Well, unfortunately, yes.  Nevertheless, I replied in the sophisticated articulate manner that I do so well.  I said, as I swallowed my dignity, “Um, Nope.”

“No problem honey, the room rates are on the wall and the girls work on tips.  Let one of us know if we can help you.”

She leaned closer to me, put her hand on my shoulder and began to whisper in my ear. Her touch and the feeling of her warm breath caused my pulse to quicken. My heart felt as if it was going to beat out of my chest as she whispered a rather personal statement regarding the monetary value of a really good time.

As she stepped away from me to return to her place on the bench, I started breathing again. As I wiped the sweat from my face, I looked over at the handwritten poster of room rates Cupcake had so beautifully pointed out. The rates were listed by the half hour or hour, and by bench or waterbed, with the latter of both being the most expensive.

My mind was racing between Cupcake’s sensual commentary and how much cash I had in my pocket for tips, when a phone rang. A woman at the desk, whom I had not noticed before, probably because she was fully clothed, answered it.

“Thank you for calling Fantasy Massage, how may I help you?”  There was a long pause as she listened to the caller before she spoke again.

Her reply was only eight words, but those words echoed throughout my entire being. I was no longer thinking of Cupcake or how much money I had to spend; all I could think about was those eight words. There have been very rare moments in my life when someone’s words moved me – this was definitely one of them. After she spoke, she said goodbye and hung up the phone. Our eyes met, I smiled and let out a little laugh. I gave her a polite nod, turned around and walked out the door. I got what I came for. Fifteen years later, the words “fantasy massage” still hold a special meaning for me, but not as much as those eight words.

And to this day, I can still hear her voice saying, “Yes, but you have to tip them both.”

 

 Standard Podcast [44:05m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

This week Regis Jack talks about how his podcast can cause possible swelling of the feet and suicidal thoughts, naked men (to which I say ewwww), sex with 12,775 women, zombies have free speech and other stuff.

This weeks random picture comes from the inside of a Nascar race car.  Yes, it’s the correct orientation.  I’m assuming the gauges are like that so when they are functioning normally they all point up, so the driver can glance and know if things are good or bad.  Of course that doesn’t explain the RPM gauge, I’ll think about that for a while.

You’re so vain, I bet you think this podcast is about you.  Ok, maybe not. But I do issue a warning at the start of this podcast, of which, the entire contents of this warning can be read at the end of this post.

This was a strange episode as I bounced around, not just on my ball, but on topics – maybe that’s not strange – maybe that’s just me.  I’ll let you decide.  I talk about Craig Ferguson and his experimental show, with no audience – much like this podcast!  If you missed it, you can watch it here, it was the episode recorded on 2/23/10 (and aired on 2/24/10).  Its just him, Stephen Fry and 2 snake mugs.  Just add John Barrowman and DAMN! You’ve got yourself one hell of a show.

I talk quite a bit about Chat Roulette (the website).  I don’t include a link here; I’m sure you can find it on your own.  It’s been said it’s the future of the web, but I see it’s still the past.  Random webcams, random strangers, random crap.  Expect to see naked men (ewwwww) but also expect to find some people who aren’t rude or naked – they are civilized! OMFR! (that’s short for Oh My Fucking Regis).  It’s strange how random people can speak and see each other for just a few minutes but leave a much longer impression.  So far I’ve, listened to something called the ‘Partyboy Remix’ with some punk, talked with an actual girl for a few minutes, texted with “the King”, seen way too many gentleman’s equipment, texted with a few other people for a while.  It’s interesting, even if you only get a second before your “Nexted”.

As for news stories this week, I talk about the beautiful Madeleine Dupont from the Denmark Curling team.  I know she has an older sister Denise (who is also beautiful), but Madeleine makes curling interesting to watch.  A recent biography of Warren Beatty says he slept with 12,775 women.  That’s one woman each day for 35 years, or in his case, one women every 1.5 days since he was 18.  Of course I’m sure he’s doubled up (or more) to help give him a break.  With that much sex, I’m sure there were some duplicates, trannies, under 18 girls and such.  I mean who has time to check their id?  I talk about how this year is NOT a leap year (big shock), how Carly Simon is still alive and still so vain, I tell a bunch of really, really, really awful jokes, Jerry Springer, female only toliets, zombies with free speech, and much more.

Here is a great video of Gillian Cooke, who ripped out the ass end of her spandex bobsled suit showing her official Olympic thong (in HD).

This is episode #082 for Monday, March 1, 2010 and clocked in at 44 minutes, 05 seconds.

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 Standard Podcast [43:04m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

This week Regis Jack talks about Pauly Shore, Olympic Curling, Family Guy, Palin, the iPad, Jesus and other stuff.

I don’t have a real good story about the above picture. Its a close up of my puppy.  Isn’t she cute.  Anyway…..

This weeks episode was delayed one full day because of Pauly Shore.  Not that he did anything to stop me personally, but I had tickets to go see him on Monday and wanted to be able to talk about him in the podcast, so I waited, and waited and now, here I am!!!!!!  Exciting isn’t it?  Ok, well maybe not that much, but it was great to see Pauly Shore again, the last time I saw him he was dead.  Well, not actually dead, but in “Pauly Shore is Dead”, check it out.  What was interesting was that my girlfriend had no idea who he was.  I mean come on, the weasel?  Who doesn’t know him, buuuuuuuuuddddy.

Anyway, he appeared at the local comedy zone and man was he funny.  Makes me wish he was working on Bio Dome 2.  He had 2, count them, 2 opening acts.  The first, Sandy Danto, was pretty funny.  He was great to warm up the, just started drinking crowd.  After him was Carlos Valencia.  My girlfriend didn’t find him too funny.  But then, the weasel himself appeared, sober and funny as hell.  This was the second show that night, so he was loose and screwed up a few times – but still great.

Last week was full of events in the Olympics, but I have to say I have become addicted to curling and not just because of the hot women from Denmark (although that does help), but because it is such a strange thing to watch.

I do talk about 10 things some guy from eweek.com thinks is wrong with the iPad, but I think he doesn’t understand what it is.  It’s like saying my car isn’t any good because it’s not a boat.

I do get off on a few rants about Palin, downs syndrome on Family Guy (and how there wasn’t any jokes about it), Elton John and gay Jesus, bodypainting in SI (with painted nipples and tightly closed legs), William Shatner and Tiger Woods (not as a couple, but individually) and http://8bitcollective.com/

I tell a story about Fett from my friend The budget Geek and the podcast with a disgusting story about a guy with a split tongue.

This is episode #081 for Tuesday, February 23, 2010 and clocked in at 43 minutes, 04 seconds.